Being more visible can be scary, and we can do scary things, right!?!
Especially as Highly Sensitive and introverts, we need to take care of ourselves and support ourselves to be the best we can be. The Visibility Guide is about this (download it here). And in this blog post, I will address eight things on where you can support yourself while being more visible.
Self-care can mean so many things on so many levels. What do you need to be the best you? What do you need to be able to be visible? Is it taking a walk before? Knowing that the kids are happy at school? Is it saying no to an event? Saying yes to something exciting? Having the bills sorted? Asking for help? Booking a massage? Allowing yourself to cry? or take a retreat weekend for yourself.
Only you can feel what you need and communicate it. What do you need to be the best you? What do you need to show up as the person you want to? And it's not about being someone else; It's about being you.
The next one is also around self-care and the words you use.
Words are really powerful, especially our own words and how we use them and what they mean to us. I cringe a bit when I hear someone say that they have a wee business. Why is the need there to say the wee (small) business? Why not just a business? If you're not taking it seriously, or if you're not showing up for that business, no one else will. So own it; you have a business.
Another thing that we're talking about when being visible is putting ourselves out there. Doesn't that sound scary If that is what we think we need to do? But honestly, when I go live, I'm still here in my home office. I don't have to put myself anywhere. I'm just making myself visible by doing alive. Am I putting myself out there?
I'm challenging myself. I'm stretching my comfort zone as I'm doing that. But I'm not putting myself out there'. I think it's unfortunate wording because it sounds scary. It almost sounds like you're walking the plank. And I understand it can feel that way. But by using those word words, you enforce that.
What words could you use instead? The words we use are really important and make things bigger or smaller than they are. Step into the observer role and notice what words you're using about yourself, to yourself, and in the interaction with other people.
So it's one thing to work proactively. And then life happens, and sometimes we end up being drained, overwhelmed, and feeling like it's too much, and we want to disappear. In that space, it can be tough to think of what to do. We can prepare by thinking about it before it happens; we're good at that.
By thinking about it before it happens, we support ourselves. Make a list of what works best for you to do when you run out of energy. Some examples; drop everything and breathe for five minutes, or let that go for the day, write everything down, go to the bathroom and listen to some music, whatever helps you at that moment.
These situations, so we might as well embrace them and take it as a sign that we're growing. We can see them for what they are and not go into the stories of what we make them mean. We can start to make those periods shorter and fewer by planning. And also by bouncing back faster by having prepared what we want to do.
Only you know what works for you. You are the expert of you if you listen.
One effective way of knowing what works for you is listening to your body. For example, if you need to make a decision, feel into your body and notice how you feel.
When I have two different options, I think about how that will be. I take a breath and feel in my body how the two options feel. If I do this, how does it feel? If I do that, how does it feel? Does it feel open, closed, scary/exciting or meh? Listen to what your body is telling you.
When we have a decision to make, there's usually no right or wrong. It's just two different paths. So we can't choose the right one or the wrong one. It's just a matter of where our preference is and what is right for us.
Have you heard that you become an average of the five people that you surround yourself with? That's interesting to think about, especially when we want to do something new, like starting a business. It matters who the people around us are, if they support us, and what they are talking about. So think about if the people that you have around you. Do you need to adjust that a bit?
We can't change anyone else, just ourselves. It doesn't mean that you have to remove those people from your life. When I started my business, my husband did not understand what I was doing. I was going from a corporate job where I had a good salary to self-employment and uncertainty. He didn't understand but supported me to do what I wanted because he saw that it made me feel better. We can't rely on one person to give us everything we need. We need to give it to ourselves.
I realized that I needed people around me that supported me on that journey that had been through the same thing, that had done what I wanted to do, and were inspiring to me, and showed me that it was possible. Or on the same path as me. I couldn't get that from my husband. It didn't mean that I wanted to divorce or anything. It just meant that I couldn't talk about my business with my husband in the beginning. So I need someone else to talk to you. And now, I'm happy to say that he also has his own company.
When we start to change, we force the people around us to change as well, and they might not want that. So we need to remember that and give them some space to adjust. If it's the right people, they will catch up. They might not necessarily understand you.
If you feel that you want more like-minded on your business journey, join the free Facebook group for Highly Sensitive Introverted Coaches and changemakers.
Remember that it's a journey and not teleportation to success (even if we wish it were). If you think you're going live to do the best live of your life. It's going to put a lot of pressure on us to make it perfect. But if we know that it's the first of many, we have to train the muscles—a different mindset.
It's a learning curve. And it's got to be okay. Remember, you collect information and experience. If you sit still and do nothing, you won't start building the muscles.
Or like the detective looking for the tools to support your people in the best way possible. I'm doing that all the time, asking questions and testing new things, being visible and spreading my message to see what gets a response, what doesn't get a response, and then twisting things around. And that is what business and entrepreneurship are about. Tweaking things and seeing what works, helping people, and being open to feedback and knowing and not taking it to heart failure is learning. Alright.
One thing that has helped me is also to play with the question: What if overwhelm is a choice? Overwhelm happens when we have spread our energy too thin, trying to climb the whole mountain at once or several.
If overwhelm was a choice, how would you choose differently?
Ground yourself here and now, empty your head on a paper if you need to. What would you choose and like to choose instead? and start working from there. Take one small step that you can do right now.
That might sound a bit confronting. If it feels harsh to you, play with the thought and see how it can help you. I see it as a powerful and empowering message.
When we have 100% responsibility for ourselves, we can take that responsibility and make choices for ourselves. We don't have to get approval or wait for anyone else. We don't have to give our power away to anyone else. We are the ones that are in charge of our lives. And this delicate balance there, of course, with trusting the bigger picture and knowing that we can make the decisions and make the life we want to live.
It also helps us see that other people are 100% responsible for themselves. If we can't see that, we're making them less than what they are.
These are some thoughts around how you can support yourself. I hope that helps you support yourself and be more visible so those who need you can find you.
Shine on! <3
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- The simple steps of showing up in the world... even when you don't want to
Fear of being seen is one of the biggest things that holds Coaches and Change Makers back from creating their big vision for themselves and what they want to do in the world. therefore I created this for you.
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