What if they don't like me?! Scared of bing visible?

What if they don't like me?!

visibility guide Feb 25, 2021

When we're starting to be more visible and showing up in a way we haven't shown up before, it's easy to ask ourselves: What if they don't like me?


This question can come up consciously or unconsciously and can hold us back! 

Have you asked yourself this question? 


Well, what other people think is non of your business.


But if you still struggle with this, as I have done, and it comes up from time to time.


Here are four things that have helped me and can hopefully help you too.

1. Be specific with who you're talking to

Be specific with who you're talking to. When you know with whom you're talking. Then you also know who's feedback and opinion actually matters. If you feel like you need to explain your message and business to an uncle sceptical or an ignorant friend, it makes it scarier.


When you know you're talking to those who understand and need your offer, it's going to be so much easier. And your energy and focus are in the right place. 

You can even decide that the ones who get it are the ones you're talking to. So much easier than trying to convince someone, right!?


2. Show up in places that you like the vibe of

The second one goes into the first one; show up in places where you like the vibe. If you feel relaxed, you will send out the right vibes to your people. You might have to stretch your comfort zone a bit in the beginning to find the place you like. But know that you don't have to go back if it's not for you. This goes for the online world as well. Leave Facebook groups that you don't like. Connect more to those you enjoy. 


You don't have to be everywhere. Don't go to network meetings if that's not for you, but know that there are many different ones out there, so you might want to try some. And if you don't feel like you belong in a place, look for someone else that looks like they don't belong, or you might meet someone unexpected. Stay with your curiosity. Try one a month, or stay in a Fb group you like. You decide! 

3. Be prepared for trolls and arguments.

Be prepared for trolls and arguments; what's the worst that can happen? On social media, there are trolls, people that comment weird things to start a discussion or get a reaction. If this is a fear of yours, think about and prepare how you would like to address those people.


Congratulations, you made it. If you got a weird comment, It's a sign that you are visible. So you can take it as something positive as well.


Another positive thing is that it can help you with the algorithms. When you get comments and discussions going in your thread, more people will see it because Facebook will think it's something people want to engage with.


Depending on what it is, you can also choose to delete it and block the writer if it's random. Or you can hide a comment so only the one who wrote it can see it. 


If it's just a different opinion than yours, you can also choose to answer. These I would answer because other people are reading the post, and if they are scared of getting different opinions, you can help them by showing how to meet those opinions in a good way. So you answer more for your people than for the person that wrote it. I like the rule to make one or a maximum of two comments. I don't let it go on forever. Don't let them take up more of your energy or space. No need to convince anyone who doesn't want to understand.


As I say to my kids, it's ok to disagree. So you don't have to get into an argument. Instead, confirm that there are different opinions and that's ok.


Prepare for how you would like to meet the trolls and know it's not personal.

4. Don't take it personally.

This also goes into the third one; don't take it personally. Especially with the trolls, they are only there to create an argument and make people react. If they don't, don't get the reaction they want from you, they will go on to someone else.


What comes out of people's heads says more about what's going on in their heads than it does about you. Think about it, some people love butterflies, and some people are scared of them; why? Because of what's going on in their heads, and not really because of the butterfly.


So if someone doesn't like you, that's fine. If they don't like your vibe, it's not your people.


So shine on! Your people will like you! 

The Visibility Guide

for HSP, Sensitive, Introvert, Intuitive - Coaches and changemakers
- The simple steps of showing up in the world... even when you don't want to

Fear of being seen is one of the biggest things that holds Coaches and Change Makers back from creating their big vision for themselves and what they want to do in the world. therefore I created this for you.


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