What is Self coaching?

self coaching Mar 15, 2019

Self Coaching is a technique to lead yourself to success. Leading yourself means you are aware of your feelings, thoughts and behaviours. A conscious awareness about yourself means that you can quickly choose how to react and act in a situation.

Coaching is a qualified communication that helps you find the answer to the questions; Who are you? What do you want? How will you get there?

The reason that coaching has been so successful and why it delivers such high results is because when someone else asks you questions, it kick starts new thoughts within you and you find the answers that are true to you. Another reason that coaching works so well is that an external coach doesn’t put any values or judgments on who you are, what you want, what you have experienced in your life or what you feel and think. A coach asks questions because they are interested in knowing where you are right now to make a plan, so you as the client take steps forward. To be able to coach yourself you have to step out from yourself and ask the important questions that make you think new thoughts; this way you will get another picture and another perspective of yourself. This is a technique that you will learn to do yourself in the LifeSpider Self Coaching programme, start with these three foundational coaching strategies.


Here are three foundational coaching strategies from the Self Coaching programme for you to start with to be able to coach yourself and for it to have the effect you want to.

1. Stop thinking about the solution and focus on ‘what’ you want to accomplish.

One important thing that most of us get stuck in when we want to get out of a situation is that we start to think of how we will do it. You begin to think about how you will get out of the situation and don’t really know where you are going. This way you get stuck in frustration, confusion or even apathy. It’s because you can’t create a how or a solution before you know what it really is that you are solving. The first thing you see as your problem may not be the problem you need to solve to go forward. So the first strategy that you need to embrace is to stop thinking about the how and the solution and instead focus on what it is that you want to accomplish. So let go of how you will get there. Because the truth is when you know what you need to solve, how will come very quickly. It will be obvious to you what activities you want to do.

2. Stop answer questions and let the answer come to you

The second foundational strategy for you to become a great coach for yourself is about how you handle questions. We are raised to believe that when we get a question, we have to have the answer immediately. And that is not how questions work primarily. The trick for you is to stop being interested in answering all the questions you get or ask yourself. The technic we use within the LifeSpider System is to ask the questions, leave them alone and then wait until the answer comes naturally to you. Often when you ask a question and try to construct an answer, where the brain or your immediate logic should come up with an answer. It’s natural that you only repeat responses that you already have received a lot of times before. But when you get a question, there is also an answer in that question. And if you just rest and dispatch the logic and the brain, that tries to fix it. You will be surprised by how easy the answers will come to you. And this is a fascinating part of the process. These are the answers that fall over you that will create insights, aha’s and you never know when they will show up, so it is a playful way to treat situations that you may be now thinking is a bit tough.

3. Stop ‘Believe’ in yourself and learn by doing.

The third strategy is a strategy that maybe contradict what you have been thought. About that, you should believe in yourself. We dive deeper into this phenomenon and the difference between believing and knowing in the programme. But what you need to know right now is that you should extract the insecurity that ‘belief’ actually involve and give yourself the proof for what works. The only way of getting evidence is to do things. Activities, actions that is what will provide you with the insights there you will get proof for what actually works. And this takes some courage from you to dare to start doing things, actions, activities where you can not know the result from the start. But by you trying it out, even exercises and things that are presented in this programme that you don’t really “believe” in. Where you can’t see the meaning or importance, you think it will not work for you. You can have many excuses or explanations. And there I would like to ask you to be strong and take control over yourself and dare to try and you will see what happens. So what I really ask you here is to, what we call, trust the process.


Four questions you can ask yourself right now

These are probably questions that you have some answers to or that you expect that you already have the answer to. But I want you to use these strategies even to these questions to see if more answers are coming up. So what I want you to do is to carry these questions a while before you write down and is entirely sure of what answers you are going to work with. Think about these one at a time:

1. What is the most important you want to change in your life right now?
2. What is it that you absolutely want to get rid of in your life?
3. What is your dream scenario of how it should be?
4. What is your quick analysis of why it isn’t as you want it to be?

And remember to let the answers come to you

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