Today is the first day of the new school year for my boys here in Raglan. We’ve had a wonderful summer break and now it’s wonderful to have the kids back in school and get back to the routines. The brain likes routines and habits because it takes less energy than to do something new. Therefore it is important to look at our habits and routines so that they support us in the way we want to.
Now is the perfect time to think it through. What is the first thing you do in the morning? Is that what you would like to do? How does it support you? Go through your habits and routines and ask these questions to be more conscious about the support you have built or not built for yourself.
If you feel that you don’t have the routines to support you. Think about what support you would like to have. What do you want more of in your life?
- Think a happy thought...
What is depression or anxiety to you? Where is the line between normal and not normal? When is it time to get help?
The other week I looked at a very interesting documentary called ‘Sunny side of spirit’. It’s about the view on depression and mental “illness” in different countries. Coming from Sweden and living in New Zealand where both countries have a high rate of suicides and depression challenges, and also from my own experience with depression. This is really a subject that interest me. The documentary follows the Dutch woman Sunny to Accra in Ghana, Taipei in Taiwan and Salvador in Brazil. To see how the different countries view upon and handel depression compared to ‘the western world’.
What strikes me is how hard we try to put everyone into the box of what is normal. I recognise it from my own upbringing and on the reactions of Sunny who leads the documentary.
Five things that really resonated with me is:
What's on your mind?
Facebook ask us this every time we logg in, but have you really taken the time to think about it?
We have approximately 80,000 thoughts per day. Studies have shown that 95% of these thoughts are the same as those we had yesterday, and those that we will have tomorrow. Imagine that, 95% of our thoughts are the same! Our brain is lazy it wants to do the same thing over and over again because it takes more energy to create new connections than to use the old ones.
Our thoughts create our reality so what we think about is really important if we want to change something. To change the thoughts you need to become aware of them and consciously explore them. In this way you can discover thought patterns and connections that could be hard to discover otherwise. One way of doing this is by writing your thoughts down or having someone to help you see your thoughts, like a coach.
I do a writing process every morning and I would like to share it...
Happy new year!
Hope you've had a great start on 2018
Here in Raglan I’ve been to the beach ever day so far and I love it! More beach walks is on my list for 2018 and so far so good. What do you want from 2018? If you haven’t thought about it yet I will share 5 steps to create your fantastic year 2018! So grab you pen and paper or a new document on the computer, turn of Facebook and notifications and focus on these questions. Give yourself this time to really think about what you want from 2018. Put away other peoples expectations and believes about you. This is for you and about what you want, dream about, and feel good about. This is your year! Let’s start:
Write down 5 things that you like in your life right now that you want to keep during 2018. It can be something you are, do or have, and it can be big or small. Like your perfect morning tea.
The feeling of loneliness doesn't depend on how many people you have around you. If you've ever been in a room full of people and still felt lonely you know what I'm talking about. The feeling of being lonely is there because you have abandoned yourself. The feeling of being lonely is a disconnection. From you, the Now, and/or the people around you.
I have come to realize that I had become friends with the loneliness instead of becoming friends with myself. I have changed that now. But somedays my old friend, the loneliness comes by, and then I know what to do. And I want to share the steps with you here:
What does the feeling of loneliness want? Is it protection, are you keeping your distance for a reason? Is it sadness for not listening to yourself? Have you lost yourself in what you think others expect from you? Are you really alone? What is it that makes you feel alone? Has loneliness become your friend?
Why is it important to know what you really want?
You need to know what you want in order to get what you want. If you don’t know what you want, no one else will either and then they will guess and give you what they think that you need. And make you a part in their own plan. If you don’t decide someone else will do it for you
Take responsibility for you and take back the driving seat of your own life. You are to important to sit in the backseat. When you leave the responsibility to someone else you make yourself a victim. You can not expect someone else to see you potential if you don’t see it yourself.
Stop listening to the voice that tells you how you should be. You are you and that is enough. You are here for a reason and if you follow what feels interesting and important to you. You will find what it is and how you can use your talents and gifts that you have.
When you know what you want, start share this with others. Start with those...
What do you really want? My first coach was sitting in front of me asking me this question. I could not answer and I realised that I hadn’t thought of what I wanted for a long time. Life had just rushed on with it’s everyday schedule. The focus was on the kids, the family, the work, the house and everything else that needed fixing and planning.
What did I really want?
One thing I knew was that I couldn’t go on like it was now. The energy was disappearing from me and I got very little energy back. One part of me wished for a quiet room with white walls and no demands. Another part of me demanded more and knew that life was suppose to be fun and wanted adventure. I knew that I had to find out what I wanted to get the energy I needed to cope. This was not a life I wanted for my kids, so I needed to find another way of living.
Slowly I started to listen to the signs that lead me to what I wanted. The butterflies in my...
Now it’s one year since we moved to the other side of the world. We moved because we wanted to try something else then Sweden and New Zealand seemed to be different but not too different. We knew the language, they have good schools and an adventurous lifestyle that was very appealing to us.
The move was not just about moving to another country but choosing a different lifestyle and reevaluate the life that we lived. We have made a lot of changes and it’s been a real adventure.
When moving a year ago it felt like someone had thrown our life puzzle in the air and it took about half a year before we could start to put it together again. We have had a lot of fun this year but it's also been hard. There where always a new decision that had to be made and new information that needed to be found. Where to buy our food, what to eat, what food existed here and not. How to live, sleep, transport. At one point I refused to take another decision because of decision overload....
Do you live happily ever after like in the fairy tales? nja, I see marriage as an adventure and sometimes the there's an uphill and sometimes there's a downhill. Just like any relationship marriage is a process and so far it hasn't been boring.
Ten years ago I got married on a beautiful and rainy Swedish midsummers eve. It was truly a day filled with so much love, not only for the man who became my husband but also for the family and friends who made the day possible. I always think of this day with joy in my heart.
As I write this my husband is on the other side of the world. Me and the kids are on a visit in Sweden for a month and he wanted to stay and work in our new home in Raglan (New Zealand). I miss him a lot and at the same time I think it’s good to be a part sometimes. This post could easily turn into a praise post for him, but it will not.
You become like the five people you spend the most time with. So think about what you want to achieve and who you want to be, then take a really good look at the people you surround yourself with.
Who do you spend the most time with?
What do these people represent for you? Do they give you energy or take energy? Do you feel that you can be yourself around them? Do they appreciate you?
The people around us affect us more than we might think. How we look at ourselves, how we feel, if we feel exhausted or energized. I don't want to start a blaming game here. It is totally up to you who you spend time with. You don't have to spend time with someone, you really don't.
When you want to make a change, start spending time with new people. Think of what you want to do and find people who are already doing it or that want to do it. If you want to start your own business, start hanging out with people that have started. Ask them...
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